Narcissists can be incredibly skilled at manipulating and playing with emotions, including their own expressions of care. There are a few reasons why a narcissist might tell you that he cares, even if you suspect or know deep down that it's not genuine:
Control and Power: By telling you that he cares, the narcissist can maintain a sense of control over the relationship. It keeps you emotionally invested and potentially willing to do things for him, believing there is a genuine connection.
Hoovering: Narcissists often engage in hoovering, which means trying to draw someone back into a relationship after they've discarded them. Telling you that he cares could be a way to draw you back in or to keep you on the hook as a potential source of supply.
Maintaining a Positive Image: Narcissists are often concerned about how they are perceived by others. Telling you that he cares might be a way to maintain a positive image in your eyes or the eyes of others, even if it's not rooted in true feelings.
Emotional Manipulation: By expressing care, the narcissist can exploit your emotions and vulnerabilities. They might use this as an opportunity to gain sympathy, attention, or favors from you.
Keeping You Confused: Narcissists may use mixed messages and contradictory behaviors to keep you off balance and confused. Telling you that he cares while not demonstrating it in his actions can leave you uncertain about the true nature of the relationship.
Fear of Abandonment: Narcissists often have a deep fear of being abandoned or rejected. By expressing care, they may hope to prevent you from leaving or cutting off contact with them.
Emotional Investment for Future Use: Narcissists may not genuinely care for you, but they can keep you emotionally invested in them as a potential future source of supply. They might turn to you when they need validation, attention, or other forms of support.
Remember that narcissists are experts at manipulation and can be highly deceptive. They use various tactics to keep their targets under their influence and control. It's crucial to be aware of these patterns and prioritize your well-being. If you suspect you are dealing with a narcissist, establishing and maintaining strong boundaries, seeking support from friends or a mental health professional, and considering distancing yourself from the relationship may be essential for your emotional health and recovery.