Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, as they tend to have an excessive need for admiration and can be highly self-centered. When asking a narcissist for something, it's essential to approach the situation strategically to increase the likelihood of them saying yes. Here are some tips that might help:
Stroke their ego: Begin the conversation by complimenting the narcissist and appealing to their sense of self-importance. Acknowledge their strengths or achievements before making your request. This can create a positive atmosphere and make them more receptive to your proposal.
Present your request as beneficial to them: Frame your ask in a way that highlights how fulfilling your request would benefit the narcissist. Emphasize how it aligns with their interests or how it can enhance their reputation or status.
Use flattery selectively: Narcissists are often drawn to flattery. While you should be sincere, moderate flattery can be effective in getting them to listen to you more attentively.
Be confident and assertive: Narcissists respect confidence and assertiveness. Clearly state your request without being overly apologetic or submissive, as this may be perceived as weakness.
Offer something in return: Narcissists may be more inclined to say yes if they believe they are getting something in return. Propose a mutually beneficial exchange or highlight how fulfilling your request might lead to other opportunities for them.
Be concise and straightforward: Avoid long-winded explanations or justifications. Keep your request brief and to the point, as narcissists may lose interest if they feel the conversation is not centered on them.
Time your request strategically: Pick a moment when the narcissist is in a relatively good mood or feeling positive about themselves. Avoid approaching them when they are stressed or preoccupied with their own problems.
Appeal to their competitive nature: Narcissists often have a strong desire to be the best or outdo others. Frame your request in a way that aligns with their desire to excel or be seen as extraordinary.
Maintain boundaries: Be mindful not to be overly accommodating or taken advantage of. Setting clear boundaries will help ensure that your interactions with the narcissist remain healthy and respectful.
Stay calm and composed: If the narcissist reacts negatively or refuses your request, remain calm and composed. Avoid getting emotional or engaging in arguments, as this might escalate the situation.
Remember that dealing with a narcissist can be complex and might not always lead to a positive outcome. If your request is essential, but the narcissist refuses, you might consider seeking assistance or support from other individuals or exploring alternative solutions.