Narcissists often use compliments as a manipulative tool to maintain control and admiration from their partners. They might employ various tactics to appear charming and likable, but their compliments are usually self-serving and insincere. Here are some common ways narcissists compliment their partners:
Love bombing: In the early stages of a relationship, narcissists often employ "love bombing" techniques. They overwhelm their partner with excessive praise, attention, and gifts, creating an intense and emotionally charged atmosphere. This is intended to quickly establish a strong emotional bond and dependence on the narcissist.
Flattery: Narcissists are skilled at flattery and will often tell their partners what they want to hear. They might shower them with compliments about their looks, intelligence, or accomplishments, playing on their insecurities and desire for validation.
Comparisons: Narcissists might praise their partner by comparing them favorably to others, emphasizing how much better they are than previous partners or even their own family members. This serves to create a sense of superiority and exclusivity within the relationship.
Conditional compliments: Narcissists often give compliments that come with strings attached. They may only offer praise when their partner conforms to their expectations or fulfills their desires. This behavior reinforces the narcissist's control over their partner's self-esteem and actions.
Public displays of affection: Narcissists might use public compliments to enhance their image and reputation. They enjoy being seen as the generous and loving partner, and these public displays help them maintain their facade and manipulate how others perceive them.
Withholding compliments: At times, narcissists might intentionally withhold compliments and affection to create insecurity and a sense of dependency in their partner. They use this tactic to keep their partner seeking their validation and approval.
Gaslighting: Narcissists may offer backhanded compliments or use gaslighting techniques to undermine their partner's self-esteem subtly. For example, they might compliment their partner's appearance while suggesting that others might not find them as attractive.
Love withdrawal and praise revival: Narcissists might alternate between periods of excessive praise and affection, followed by withdrawal of love and compliments. This intermittent reinforcement keeps their partner on an emotional rollercoaster, making it harder for them to break away from the relationship.
It is crucial for individuals in relationships with narcissists to recognize these manipulative behaviors and seek support and guidance to break free from the toxic dynamics. Healthy relationships are built on genuine love, respect, and mutual support, not on manipulation and emotional exploitation.