It's important to recognize that narcissists may have difficulty fully understanding or accepting that someone is never coming back, especially if they are deeply attached to the person or if their ego is heavily invested in the relationship. Their ability to grasp this reality can vary based on their individual traits, level of narcissism, and emotional intelligence. Here are some potential scenarios:
Immediate Realization: In some cases, when the individual has made their intentions clear and firmly ended the relationship, the narcissist might initially recognize that the person is not coming back. However, they may still try to manipulate or hoover (attempts to draw the person back into the relationship) the individual in the hope of regaining control.
Denial and Idealization: Narcissists often struggle with rejection, criticism, and feelings of abandonment. They might go through a phase of denial, pretending the breakup is temporary or idealizing the person, believing they will eventually return.
Blame and Projection: If the narcissist is unable to accept the reality of the breakup, they may blame the other person for leaving and project their own shortcomings onto them. They might demonize the person to protect their ego.
Hoovering and Manipulation: Narcissists may engage in hoovering tactics, such as reaching out, making false promises, or using emotional manipulation to try to draw the person back into the relationship. This can happen even long after the breakup.
Finding a New Source of Validation: Some narcissists may quickly move on to find new sources of validation and attention. If they find a new partner or group of admirers, they may divert their attention away from the person who left.
Longer-Term Realization: Over time, some narcissists may come to accept that the person is not returning. However, this realization does not necessarily lead to personal growth or positive change in their behavior.
It's crucial for the person who has decided to end the relationship with a narcissist to prioritize their own well-being, set firm boundaries, and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed. Breaking away from a relationship with a narcissist can be emotionally challenging, and it's essential to create distance and protect oneself from potential manipulative behaviors.