In a narcissistic family unit, not all family members may be fully aware of scapegoating, but the dynamics and consequences of scapegoating can affect everyone involved in various ways. Here's a breakdown of the typical roles and dynamics in a narcissistic family:
Narcissistic Parent(s): One or both parents in the family exhibit narcissistic traits or have a narcissistic personality disorder. They are self-centered, manipulative, and seek validation and admiration from others.
Golden Child: The golden child is the favored child in the family. They may receive excessive praise, attention, and privileges from the narcissistic parent. This child is often idealized and held up as an example of the family's success.
Scapegoat: The scapegoat is the child who bears the blame for the family's problems and shortcomings. They are often criticized, belittled, and blamed for things that go wrong, even if they are not responsible. The scapegoat becomes the target of the narcissistic parent's anger and projection.
Enabler/Codependent: The enabler is often the other parent or a sibling who enables the narcissistic parent's behavior and supports their narratives, even if it means participating in scapegoating. The enabler may also be codependent and struggle to set boundaries with the narcissistic parent.
Lost Child: The lost child is a family member who tries to avoid conflict and attention. They may withdraw and become emotionally distant to protect themselves from the dysfunction within the family.
Hero/Overachiever: The hero or overachiever is a family member who tries to excel and succeed in various areas to bring a sense of pride and achievement to the family. They may overcompensate for the family's issues by striving for perfection.
Awareness of scapegoating can vary among family members:
The scapegoat is usually aware of their role and the unfair treatment they receive, which can lead to feelings of resentment, anger, and low self-esteem.
The golden child may not be fully aware of the scapegoating dynamics, as they are being favored and praised by the narcissistic parent. However, they may sense that something is not right in the family.
The enabler may be partially aware of the scapegoating but may choose to ignore or deny it to maintain the status quo or avoid confrontation with the narcissistic parent.
The lost child and the hero/overachiever may be aware of the family dysfunction but may try to cope by minimizing their presence and focusing on their own survival strategies.
It's crucial to note that family dynamics in narcissistic families can be complex, and each family member's experiences and perceptions can differ. Scapegoating and narcissistic abuse can have profound and long-lasting effects on individuals within the family, often requiring therapy and support to heal and establish healthier relationships outside the dysfunctional family unit.