When you express your feelings to a narcissist, their response can vary depending on the specific individual and the dynamics of the relationship. Here are some common ways narcissists might respond:
Invalidation: Narcissists often struggle to empathize with others, so they may invalidate or dismiss your feelings. They might belittle or trivialize your emotions, making you feel like your feelings are unwarranted or unimportant.
Gaslighting: Narcissists may engage in gaslighting, a manipulative tactic where they try to make you doubt your perceptions, memories, and emotions. They might twist the situation, deny events, or claim you are overreacting to undermine your confidence in your feelings.
Defensiveness: Instead of acknowledging your feelings, narcissists may become defensive and redirect the conversation to focus on themselves. They might make excuses, blame you for causing the issue, or shift the blame to others.
Lack of Empathy: Genuine empathy is typically lacking in narcissists. They may not understand or care about how you feel, and their response might be cold or indifferent.
Minimizing: Narcissists may downplay the significance of your emotions or act as though what you feel is inconsequential. They might say things like, "It's not a big deal" or "You're making a fuss over nothing."
Emotional Manipulation: Narcissists may use your feelings against you, exploiting vulnerabilities to gain control or leverage in the relationship. They might use guilt-tripping or emotional blackmail to make you feel responsible for their emotions or actions.
Love-Bombing or Idealization: In some cases, when you express your feelings, a narcissist may temporarily switch to a love-bombing phase. They may shower you with affection, attention, and compliments to manipulate you and keep you emotionally invested in the relationship.
It's important to remember that narcissistic behavior is driven by their own self-centeredness and an inability to genuinely connect with and understand the emotions of others. These responses can be hurtful and emotionally damaging, making it challenging to have a healthy and authentic relationship with a narcissist.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, setting boundaries and seeking support from friends, family, or a professional therapist can be beneficial. Recognizing and addressing these dynamics can help you protect your emotional well-being and make informed decisions about the relationship.