A narcissist's perception of an ex-partner can vary depending on several factors, including their personality, level of narcissism, and the circumstances of the breakup. Here are some common ways a narcissist may see an ex:
Idealization (Love-bombing): During the initial stages of the relationship or immediately after the breakup, a narcissist may engage in love-bombing, where they idealize their ex-partner and try to win them back. They may shower the ex with compliments, gifts, and affection, trying to rekindle the romance and maintain control.
Devaluation: If the breakup was not their decision or if the ex-partner stands firm in their decision to end the relationship, the narcissist's perception may shift to devaluation. They may demean or belittle the ex, focusing on perceived flaws or mistakes to justify the end of the relationship and protect their ego.
Hoovering: Narcissists often engage in a manipulation tactic called hoovering, where they attempt to suck their ex back into the relationship. They may alternate between love-bombing and devaluation, trying to confuse and emotionally control the ex-partner.
Objectification: Narcissists can view others as objects that serve their needs and desires. After a breakup, the ex-partner might be seen as just another discarded object or a means to regain control or satisfy their ego.
Victimization: Some narcissists may portray themselves as the victim of the breakup, blaming the ex-partner for everything that went wrong in the relationship. They may seek sympathy and attention from others, portraying the ex-partner as the cause of their emotional distress.
Possession and Ownership: Narcissists may have a possessive attitude towards their ex-partners. They might feel entitled to control and manipulate the ex's life, even after the breakup, as they see the ex-partner as an extension of themselves.
Indifference: In some cases, when the narcissist finds a new source of admiration or attention, they may lose interest in the ex-partner altogether. They might move on quickly without showing any emotional attachment or concern for the ex's well-being.
It's essential to remember that narcissists' behavior can be unpredictable and manipulative. Their perception of an ex can change rapidly, and they may use various tactics to regain control or manipulate the situation. If you're dealing with a narcissistic ex, it's crucial to establish and maintain strong boundaries and prioritize your own well-being. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you navigate the challenges of dealing with a narcissistic ex-partner.