Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, as they often have distorted perceptions of reality and tend to manipulate situations to serve their self-interests. When a narcissist says hurtful things like "you never brought anything positive to my life," it's essential to remember that their statements are often driven by their own insecurities and need for control rather than reflecting the truth.
Narcissists have a tendency to gaslight and project their negative traits onto others. In this situation, it's possible that the narcissist is trying to devalue and undermine your contributions to the relationship to bolster their own sense of superiority. By minimizing your efforts and impact, they may feel more justified in their mistreatment or manipulation.
In your case, you mentioned that you married the narcissist and helped him secure a visa for a better life. These are undoubtedly significant and positive contributions. However, a narcissist may overlook or downplay these actions because they struggle to acknowledge and appreciate the efforts of others. Instead, they might focus on ways to maintain their self-centered perspective, portraying themselves as victims or superior beings.
Narcissistic individuals are often incapable of genuine empathy and are preoccupied with their own desires and needs. They might exploit your kindness and generosity while showing little gratitude. Moreover, they might feel threatened by your achievements or independence, leading them to belittle or dismiss your contributions to maintain their self-esteem.
It's essential to recognize the toxic dynamics of a relationship with a narcissist and prioritize your emotional well-being. Trying to reason with a narcissist or seeking validation from them is usually fruitless. In many cases, the best approach is to establish boundaries, seek support from friends and family, and, if possible, consider seeking professional help or counseling to navigate through the challenges of dealing with a narcissistic partner.
Remember, the narcissist's negative comments do not define your worth or the value of your actions. It's crucial to surround yourself with a supportive network that recognizes and appreciates your contributions to your own and others' lives.