When a narcissist realizes that their partner has figured them out or sees through their manipulative behaviors, their reaction can vary depending on the individual and the specific circumstances. Here are some common ways a narcissist might respond:
Defensive Behavior: The narcissist may become defensive and try to deflect or deny any accusations or insights made by their partner. They might use gaslighting techniques to make their partner doubt their own perceptions and feel like they are the ones who are mistaken.
Anger and Aggression: A narcissist might react with anger, hostility, or even rage when their partner confronts them or challenges their false self-image. They may feel threatened by the potential loss of control over their partner and lash out as a defense mechanism.
Playing the Victim: Narcissists often play the victim card, shifting the blame onto their partner or others for the issues in the relationship. They might use guilt and emotional manipulation to elicit sympathy and make their partner feel responsible for their feelings.
Silent Treatment or Withdrawal: When confronted, some narcissists might resort to the silent treatment or withdraw emotionally as a way to punish their partner for questioning their behavior.
Love-Bombing: In an attempt to regain control and keep their partner in the relationship, the narcissist might revert to love-bombing—excessive praise, affection, and attention—to manipulate their partner back into compliance.
Projection: Narcissists may project their own flaws and insecurities onto their partner, attempting to deflect attention away from their true nature by accusing their partner of being the one with the issues.
Hoovering: If the narcissist fears losing their partner, they may engage in "hoovering," which involves attempting to draw the partner back into the relationship with promises of change and improvement. However, these promises are often empty and short-lived.
Escalating Manipulative Tactics: In some cases, a narcissist may escalate their manipulative tactics, attempting to regain control over their partner through more intense emotional and psychological abuse.
It's important for the partner of a narcissist to prioritize their own well-being and safety. Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and harmful. If you suspect you are in a relationship with a narcissist, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate the situation and provide guidance on setting healthy boundaries or potentially exiting the relationship.