Yes, it is not uncommon for a narcissist to apologize in a way that may appear remorseful while simultaneously explaining their behavior and criticizing the other person involved. This behavior is known as "pseudo-apologies" or "non-apologies" and is a common manipulation tactic used by narcissists to maintain control and power in a relationship.
When a narcissist offers a pseudo-apology, they might say sorry for their part in the conflict but often use it as an opportunity to shift the blame onto the other person or to justify their actions. By doing so, they try to protect their self-image, avoid taking full responsibility, and continue to manipulate the situation in their favor.
Some key aspects of pseudo-apologies made by narcissists include:
Lack of genuine remorse: While they may say "sorry," the apology often lacks sincerity and genuine remorse for the harm they caused.
Explanation without justification: The narcissist may explain their behavior but claim they are not justifying it. However, in reality, they might use this explanation to minimize their wrongdoing or to make the other person feel guilty for their role in the situation.
Personal attacks: Alongside the apology, the narcissist may engage in name-calling, gaslighting, or character assassination to undermine the other person's feelings and perspective, shifting the focus away from their own actions.
Shifting blame: They may subtly or explicitly blame the other person for triggering their behavior or creating the situation in the first place.
Intent to manipulate: The primary purpose of such pseudo-apologies is to manipulate the other person's emotions, make them doubt themselves, and maintain control in the relationship.
It's important to recognize these manipulative patterns and be cautious when dealing with individuals who consistently use pseudo-apologies. Such behavior can be emotionally draining and damaging to one's self-esteem and mental well-being. Setting boundaries and seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be helpful when navigating relationships with narcissistic individuals.