When a narcissist wants you to chase them, it's often a manipulation tactic used to gain control, boost their ego, and fulfill their need for admiration and attention. Narcissists have a grandiose sense of self-importance and seek constant validation from others. They thrive on feeling admired, desired, and pursued.
Here are some typical behaviors and motivations of a narcissist when they want you to chase them:
Seeking validation: Narcissists have fragile self-esteem, and they crave external validation to feel worthy and superior. By getting you to chase them, they feed off the attention and admiration you provide, which helps prop up their self-esteem.
Maintaining control: Narcissists often enjoy being in control of relationships. By making you chase them, they can manipulate the dynamic, ensuring you remain focused on meeting their needs and desires.
Playing mind games: Narcissists are skilled at playing manipulative mind games to keep you guessing and uncertain about their feelings or intentions. This can create a sense of urgency and desire to chase them, hoping to gain their affection and approval.
Testing your devotion: The narcissist may use your willingness to chase them as a way to test your loyalty and dedication to the relationship. They might be looking for signs of your commitment and willingness to go above and beyond for them.
Feeling powerful and desired: Being pursued can make the narcissist feel powerful and desired. It reinforces their belief that they are unique and exceptional, and that others should be seeking their attention.
Manipulating emotions: The narcissist might use the push-and-pull tactic, alternating between being warm and affectionate and then distant and aloof. This rollercoaster of emotions can create a sense of longing and make you want to chase them even more.
Avoiding vulnerability: Narcissists often struggle with vulnerability and emotional intimacy. By making you chase them, they can avoid opening up or being vulnerable themselves.
It's essential to recognize these manipulative behaviors and be cautious in engaging with a narcissist who wants you to chase them. Chasing a narcissist often leads to a toxic and one-sided relationship, where your needs and well-being take a backseat to theirs. In the long run, this can be emotionally draining and damaging to your self-esteem.
If you find yourself caught in this dynamic, it's crucial to set boundaries and prioritize your own emotional well-being. Consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you navigate the complexities of dealing with a narcissist and develop healthier relationship patterns. In some cases, distancing yourself from the narcissist may be the best course of action for your own mental and emotional health.