Feeling doubt and blaming yourself when a friend's mood falls down is a common reaction for many people. There are several potential reasons for this:
Empathy: If you have a strong sense of empathy, you may deeply feel and internalize the emotions of those around you. When your friend is upset, you might take on their feelings and feel responsible for their well-being.
Personalization: Sometimes, people tend to personalize the emotions and experiences of others. You may think that your friend's mood is a direct result of something you said or did, even when it's not the case.
Need for control: As humans, we often desire control over situations and outcomes. When a friend is in a negative mood, you might feel helpless because you can't immediately fix the problem, leading to self-blame.
Fear of rejection: You might worry that your friend's negative mood is a sign that they are upset with you or that they no longer value your friendship, which can trigger feelings of self-doubt.
Past experiences: Previous life experiences or relationships may have conditioned you to feel responsible for other people's emotions, even when it's not rational or accurate.
Low self-esteem: If you have low self-esteem, you may be more prone to self-blame in various situations, including when a friend is upset.
Co-dependency: In co-dependent relationships, there can be an unhealthy emotional reliance on each other, making it challenging to separate your feelings from your friend's.
To address these feelings of doubt and self-blame, consider the following steps:
Recognize and accept your emotions: It's okay to feel concerned for your friend, but it's essential to acknowledge that you are not solely responsible for their emotions.
Communicate with your friend: Ask your friend if there is anything you can do to support them, but also respect their boundaries if they need time alone.
Set healthy boundaries: Understand that you can't control or fix someone else's emotions. Allow them to process their feelings without feeling the need to intervene.
Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and recognize that you're doing your best to be a caring friend.
Seek support if needed: Talk to a trusted friend or a mental health professional about your feelings to gain perspective and cope with these emotions.
Focus on your well-being: Engage in activities that bring you joy and maintain your emotional well-being.
Remember, being supportive and empathetic is important, but it's also crucial to recognize your limits and take care of your own emotional health. Healthy relationships involve mutual support and understanding, without placing undue burden or responsibility on one another.