Narcissists' need for hoovering, which refers to their attempts to re-engage with former partners or sources of supply, can indeed change over time, and it may be influenced by various factors, including their mood and current circumstances. To understand why this happens, it's essential to consider some aspects of narcissistic personality traits and behaviors:
Need for Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists have an insatiable need for admiration, attention, and validation from others, known as narcissistic supply. They derive a sense of self-worth from this external validation, and when it wanes or is threatened, they may resort to hoovering to regain it.
Cycle of Idealization and Devaluation: In relationships, narcissists often engage in a cycle of idealization, where they shower their partners with love and attention, and devaluation, where they demean and devalue their partners. After a period of devaluation or discard, they might experience a decline in narcissistic supply, leading them to seek hoovering as a means to regain control and validation.
Emotional Turmoil and Mood Swings: Narcissists can be emotionally volatile, experiencing intense mood swings. Their need for hoovering may be driven by a shift in their emotional state, where they may vacillate between feelings of anger, resentment, loneliness, or vulnerability, leading them to reach out to former sources of supply.
Need for Control: Hoovering can be a tactic used by narcissists to exert control over their former partners. By re-engaging with them or luring them back into the relationship, the narcissist gains a sense of power and control, feeding their ego and maintaining a sense of dominance.
Fear of Abandonment: Despite their grandiose demeanor, narcissists can have deep-rooted fears of abandonment and rejection. Hoovering might be an attempt to prevent feelings of abandonment or to seek reassurance that they still have an emotional hold on their former partners.
Circumstantial Triggers: The need for hoovering may also be triggered by specific events or circumstances in the narcissist's life, such as feeling lonely during holidays or important milestones, facing personal challenges, or experiencing a loss of other sources of supply.
It's important to note that hoovering is a manipulative tactic employed by narcissists, and their motives for doing so may not always be straightforward or rational. The narcissist's behavior is often driven by their intense need for validation, control, and the maintenance of their inflated self-image.
In summary, the need for hoovering among narcissists can change over time and may be influenced by their emotional state, the availability of alternative sources of supply, and their ongoing desire for control and validation. Understanding these dynamics can be helpful for those who have experienced or are currently dealing with narcissistic individuals, as it sheds light on the underlying motives behind their manipulative behaviors.