It's great that you are aware of this pattern and are actively trying to work on it. Developing a sense of self-love and happiness that isn't solely dependent on external factors, such as having a crush or someone's interest, takes time and effort. Here are some strategies to help you cultivate self-love and find happiness within yourself:
Focus on self-awareness: Reflect on your emotions and thoughts. Understand why you might feel the need for external validation or a romantic interest to be happy. This self-awareness can help you identify any underlying insecurities or beliefs that may be contributing to this dependency.
Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a close friend. Embrace your imperfections and acknowledge that everyone goes through ups and downs in life.
Set personal goals: Pursue hobbies and interests that bring you joy and fulfillment. Set achievable goals and celebrate your progress along the way. This will help you build a sense of accomplishment and purpose outside of romantic interests.
Invest in self-improvement: Take time to learn new skills or develop existing ones. Engaging in personal growth can boost your self-esteem and make you feel more confident and content with yourself.
Build a strong support network: Surround yourself with friends and family who care about you and support your journey towards self-love. Having a reliable support system can help you through difficult times.
Practice mindfulness and gratitude: Regularly practice mindfulness and gratitude exercises to stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life. This can shift your focus away from seeking external validation.
Limit social media consumption: Social media can sometimes exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and the need for validation. Be mindful of how much time you spend on social media platforms and consider taking breaks if needed.
Challenge negative thoughts: Whenever you catch yourself thinking that you need a romantic interest to be happy, challenge that thought. Remind yourself of your worth and value as an individual beyond romantic relationships.
Seek professional help if necessary: If you find that you are struggling to break this pattern on your own, consider speaking with a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific needs.
Remember, self-love is a journey, and it's okay to have setbacks along the way. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you work towards building a healthier relationship with yourself. Over time, with consistent effort, you can find greater happiness and fulfillment that isn't dependent on external factors.