Narcissists often begin to criticize others, including those they have gotten to know, as a part of their manipulative and controlling behavior. Understanding this behavior requires considering the underlying traits and motivations commonly seen in narcissistic individuals:
Grandiosity and Superiority Complex: Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe they are superior to others. As they get to know you better, they may start to perceive traits or qualities in you that they view as threats to their own self-image. To maintain their sense of superiority, they may resort to criticism to bring you down and diminish your self-esteem.
Fear of Abandonment or Rejection: Despite their apparent arrogance, narcissists can be deeply insecure and fear rejection or abandonment. As they grow closer to someone, they may worry that the other person will eventually see through their facade and abandon them. Criticizing you might be an attempt to push you away before you have a chance to see their vulnerabilities.
Manipulation and Control: Narcissists often engage in manipulative behaviors to maintain power and control over others. Criticism can be a way to erode your self-confidence and make you more dependent on their approval. By chipping away at your self-esteem, they aim to keep you under their influence.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists have a limited ability to empathize with others. They may not fully comprehend the impact of their criticism on your emotions and may not care about how it makes you feel. Their focus is primarily on their own needs and desires.
Projection: Narcissists tend to project their own insecurities and flaws onto others. They may criticize you for traits or behaviors that they dislike in themselves but are unwilling to acknowledge. This projection allows them to distance themselves from their shortcomings and feel superior by comparison.
Idealization-Devaluation Cycle: In some cases, narcissists may initially idealize people they meet, putting them on a pedestal and showering them with praise. However, as the relationship progresses, they may shift to a devaluation phase, where they begin to criticize and devalue the same person they once admired.
It's crucial to recognize these patterns and set boundaries when dealing with narcissistic individuals. Their behavior is unlikely to change significantly, and maintaining a healthy relationship with a narcissist can be challenging. In many cases, seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can help you cope with the impact of such relationships on your emotional well-being.