Narcissists often use their bad and somber moods as a manipulation tactic to control the person they are with for several reasons:
Emotional Manipulation: Narcissists are skilled at emotional manipulation, and using their bad moods is one way to gain sympathy, attention, and control over their partner. By appearing sad or distressed, they may elicit a caregiving response from their partner, making them feel obligated to provide comfort and support.
Playing the Victim: By portraying themselves as the victim of their own bad mood, narcissists can deflect responsibility for their actions and behavior. This allows them to avoid being held accountable for any harm they may have caused and puts the focus on their partner's response instead.
Empathy Exploitation: Narcissists may exploit their partner's empathy and compassion, knowing that their partner will feel compelled to try to "fix" their bad mood or emotional state. This can lead to the partner neglecting their own needs while trying to soothe the narcissist.
Emotional Blackmail: Narcissists may use their bad moods as a form of emotional blackmail to get what they want. They may threaten to become even more upset or emotionally distant unless their partner complies with their demands or desires.
Power and Control: For narcissists, relationships are often about maintaining power and control. By using their bad moods as a tool, they can manipulate their partner's emotions, actions, and decisions, thus exerting dominance over the relationship.
Gaslighting: Narcissists may use their bad moods to gaslight their partner, making them doubt their own perceptions and emotions. They might insist that their partner is the cause of their bad mood, even when this is not the case, leading the partner to question their own sanity or judgment.
Validation and Attention-Seeking: Narcissists crave constant validation and attention. By using their bad moods, they can keep the focus on themselves and ensure that their partner is continuously attending to their emotional needs.
It's important to recognize these manipulation tactics and set healthy boundaries in relationships with narcissists. Remember that you cannot control or fix someone else's emotions, and it's not your responsibility to cater to their every mood. If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist that is causing you distress, seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be beneficial in navigating this challenging situation.