People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can have complex and intense emotional experiences, and how they respond in a relationship can vary depending on individual differences and their level of self-awareness and coping skills. When in a relationship with an emotionally shallow or distant partner, someone with BPD may experience heightened emotional sensitivity and may react in different ways:
Fear of abandonment: Individuals with BPD often have a strong fear of being abandoned or rejected by their partners. If they perceive emotional distance from their partner, it can trigger feelings of abandonment, leading to emotional reactions such as anxiety, anger, or attempts to regain the partner's attention.
Emotional intensity: BPD can cause individuals to experience emotions more intensely than others. When faced with emotional distance from their partner, they may react with extreme emotions, such as feeling devastated, overwhelmed, or unloved.
Efforts to seek validation: People with BPD may seek validation and reassurance from their partners to a greater extent than others. If they feel emotionally disconnected, they might try to elicit validation or emotional closeness through various means.
Idealization and devaluation: Individuals with BPD might have a tendency to idealize their partners initially and then quickly switch to devaluing them when they perceive emotional distance. This pattern can create instability in the relationship.
Self-sabotaging behaviors: Some individuals with BPD may engage in self-sabotaging behaviors when faced with emotional distance or perceived rejection. This could include self-harm, impulsive actions, or pushing their partner away as a way to protect themselves from potential hurt.
Seeking closeness: In contrast, some individuals with BPD might try harder to foster closeness and intimacy in the relationship, attempting to bridge the emotional gap between them and their partner.
It's essential to remember that not everyone with BPD will respond in the same way, and individuals can vary widely in their responses based on their personality, coping mechanisms, and the specific dynamics of the relationship.
Maintaining a healthy relationship with someone who has BPD, especially when one partner is emotionally distant, can be challenging. Open and honest communication, empathy, and understanding are crucial for both partners to work through the difficulties together. Seeking support from a mental health professional, such as couples therapy or individual therapy for the person with BPD, can also be beneficial in navigating the complexities of the relationship.