It's essential to approach discussions about mental health with sensitivity and respect for the individuals involved. If you suspect that someone you care about may be struggling with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and that their feelings toward their partner might be changing, it's essential to encourage them to seek professional help and support rather than trying to diagnose or interpret their behaviors on your own.
That said, people with BPD, like anyone else, may exhibit various signs and behaviors when they are feeling overwhelmed, struggling with their emotions, or considering the end of a relationship. Here are some general signs that a person, regardless of whether they have BPD, might be losing interest or contemplating ending a relationship:
Withdrawal and Isolation: They might start spending less time with their partner and others, preferring to be alone or engaging in solitary activities.
Decreased Communication: There may be a decline in regular communication patterns, such as reduced texting, calling, or sharing feelings and thoughts.
Change in Emotional Intensity: People with BPD often experience intense emotions, but if they start becoming emotionally distant or apathetic, it could be a sign of disconnection.
Avoidance of Intimacy: They may avoid physical or emotional intimacy with their partner, pulling away from affectionate gestures and sex.
Fluctuating Attitudes and Opinions: Their feelings and opinions about the partner may shift drastically, leading to frequent changes in how they view the relationship.
Impulsive Behaviors: Engaging in reckless or impulsive actions, such as substance abuse, spending sprees, or self-harm, can be an indication of emotional distress.
Idealization and Devaluation: A common pattern in BPD relationships is idealizing their partner initially and then devaluing them later. If they seem to suddenly devalue their partner or find faults excessively, it might indicate a change in their feelings.
Increased Criticism: They might become more critical and find fault with their partner's actions or personality traits.
Testing Boundaries: People with BPD may test their partner's commitment or love by pushing boundaries or creating conflict.
Loss of Future Planning: A lack of interest in making future plans together may suggest they are questioning the longevity of the relationship.
Mood Swings: Rapid and unpredictable mood swings can make it difficult for them to maintain stable emotions within a relationship.
It's essential to remember that these signs are not specific to BPD and can apply to anyone experiencing relationship difficulties. Additionally, a person with BPD can have meaningful, stable relationships, and not everyone with BPD will exhibit all of these signs. If you're concerned about someone's well-being or the state of their relationship, encourage them to speak with a mental health professional who can provide appropriate guidance and support.