When a partner is dealing with someone who has borderline personality disorder (BPD) during an episode, their needs and wants may vary depending on the specific situation and the individual's preferences. It is important to remember that supporting someone with BPD can be challenging, and partners should also take care of their own well-being. Here are some general things a partner may want from their loved one during a BPD episode:
Communication and understanding: The partner may want their loved one with BPD to communicate openly about what they are experiencing during the episode. Understanding what triggers the episode and how they are feeling can help the partner be more empathetic and supportive.
Validation of feelings: The partner may want their loved one to validate their feelings and emotions during the episode. Even if they may not fully understand what the person with BPD is going through, showing empathy and acknowledging their emotions can be helpful.
Time and space: Sometimes, during a BPD episode, emotions can run high, and the person with BPD might need some time and space to process their feelings. The partner may want their loved one to take the time they need, but also to communicate when they are ready to talk and reconnect.
Staying safe: The partner may want to ensure the safety of their loved one during an episode, especially if self-harm or impulsive behaviors are a concern. This might involve offering support or encouraging their loved one to seek professional help if necessary.
Consistency in boundaries: Partners may desire consistent and clear boundaries during episodes. Setting healthy boundaries can help both individuals manage their emotions and reactions effectively.
Reassurance: Partners may want reassurance that the episode does not define their loved one entirely and that they still care about them and their relationship. It's essential to reinforce the idea that episodes are a part of the condition and do not diminish the person's worth.
Encouragement to seek professional help: The partner may encourage their loved one to seek therapy or counseling to manage their BPD more effectively. Professional help can provide valuable coping strategies and tools for both the individual with BPD and their partner.
Recognition of effort: Partners may appreciate any effort their loved one makes to manage their BPD or work on coping strategies during and after an episode. Recognizing and encouraging these efforts can be meaningful and motivating.
Support for self-care: Partners may need to take care of themselves during and after an episode. Encouragement and understanding from their loved one can make it easier for them to manage their own emotions and well-being while supporting their partner.
It's important to remember that BPD affects individuals differently, and what a partner wants during an episode can vary. Communication, empathy, and a willingness to learn about BPD can go a long way in supporting the loved one during challenging times. If the relationship becomes overwhelming or emotionally taxing for either partner, seeking professional couples therapy or support groups can be beneficial.