Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex mental health condition characterized by a pattern of unstable relationships, intense emotions, impulsivity, and difficulties with self-image. People with BPD often experience intense fear of abandonment and have a tendency to engage in what is known as "splitting," where they see others as all good or all bad, with little room for gray areas.
The behavior of ignoring or distancing oneself from the people they love and are closest to, but only for short periods of time, can be attributed to several factors commonly associated with BPD:
Fear of Abandonment: People with BPD often have an overwhelming fear of being abandoned or rejected by those they care about. As a coping mechanism, they may push others away as a pre-emptive defense to protect themselves from perceived potential abandonment.
Emotional Dysregulation: BPD is marked by intense and rapidly shifting emotions. During times of emotional distress or feeling overwhelmed, individuals with BPD may withdraw from loved ones to cope with their emotions in solitude or to avoid burdening others.
Identity Instability: BPD can lead to a lack of a stable self-identity. During times of internal turmoil, individuals with BPD might withdraw to gain a sense of stability or to find some consistency within themselves.
Idealization and Devaluation: People with BPD may experience extreme shifts in how they perceive others. They might idealize their loved ones one moment, viewing them as perfect and supportive, and then suddenly switch to devaluing them, seeing them as neglectful or harmful. This can lead to pushing loved ones away during the devaluation phase.
Impulsivity: Impulsivity is a common trait in BPD. During moments of impulsive behavior or emotional reactivity, individuals may make decisions to distance themselves from others without considering the consequences.
Avoiding Conflict: Fear of conflict or rejection may lead individuals with BPD to temporarily ignore or avoid interactions with loved ones to prevent potential disagreements or confrontations.
Testing Relationships: Some individuals with BPD might test the strength and commitment of their relationships by creating distance or pushing boundaries. They may do this to see if their loved ones will chase after them, reinforcing their belief in their connection or commitment.
It's important to note that these behaviors are not intentional attempts to hurt or manipulate others. Instead, they often stem from the individual's deep emotional pain and difficulty managing their emotions and relationships. Treatment for BPD, which may involve therapies like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) or Schema Therapy, can help individuals develop healthier coping mechanisms and improve their relationship skills. Support from loved ones and professional mental health providers is crucial in the management and recovery of BPD.