Splitting is a defense mechanism and a common phenomenon observed in people with borderline personality disorder (BPD). It refers to the tendency to perceive people, situations, and oneself in extreme and polarized terms—either as all good or all bad—with little room for shades of gray or complexity. This black-and-white thinking can lead to unstable and intense relationships, emotional turmoil, and difficulty in maintaining consistent self-identity.
In the context of BPD, splitting can manifest in the following ways:
Idealization: When individuals with BPD experience positive feelings towards someone or something, they may idealize them and see them as perfect, flawless, or all-good. They place these individuals on a pedestal and may believe that they are the only source of happiness and support.
Devaluation: On the other hand, when negative emotions arise or conflicts occur, individuals with BPD may rapidly shift to devaluation. They see the person or situation as all-bad, unworthy, or malicious. During this phase, they might express intense anger, disappointment, or disdain.
Rapid Shifts: People with BPD can quickly oscillate between idealization and devaluation within the same relationship or situation. This rapid and extreme shift in perceptions can be confusing for both the individual with BPD and the people around them.
Impact on Relationships: Splitting can lead to tumultuous relationships because the person with BPD may perceive their significant other, friends, or family members as either entirely loving and caring or completely uncaring and hostile, depending on the moment. This can result in frequent arguments, emotional conflicts, and difficulties in maintaining stable connections.
Self-Splitting: Splitting can also affect self-perception. Individuals with BPD might experience fluctuations in their self-esteem and self-worth. They may see themselves as either a perfect, competent, and lovable person or as fundamentally flawed, worthless, and unlovable.
Splitting is believed to be a coping mechanism that helps individuals with BPD navigate the intense emotions and fear of rejection and abandonment they often experience. However, it can be detrimental to their well-being and relationships, as it hinders a balanced and nuanced understanding of themselves and others.
Treatment for BPD, often including dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), aims to help individuals recognize and manage splitting tendencies and develop healthier coping strategies to foster more stable and fulfilling relationships.