Therapy is a complex process, and therapists often aim to strike a balance between addressing their clients' emotional needs and providing guidance that promotes growth and well-being. The advice your therapist gave you might seem contradictory, but there could be reasons behind it that aren't immediately apparent.
Here are a few potential reasons why your therapist might have suggested maintaining some contact with your mom despite acknowledging her toxicity:
Closure and resolution: For some individuals, having some level of contact with a toxic parent can be an opportunity to find closure or resolution to past issues. It can be a way to express your feelings, set boundaries, or work through emotional conflicts that might have arisen from the toxic relationship.
Protecting yourself: Cutting off all contact with a toxic parent can sometimes lead to feelings of guilt or regret later on. By maintaining a limited connection, you can protect yourself emotionally while still acknowledging the relationship.
Gradual distancing: Your therapist might be suggesting you maintain some level of contact now, but with the goal of gradually reducing it over time. This approach allows you to ease into the process and make the necessary adjustments to cope with the changes.
Family dynamics: In some families, completely cutting off a parent can have significant repercussions on other family relationships. Your therapist may be considering the broader family dynamics and the potential consequences for your extended family.
However, it's essential to remember that therapists are not infallible, and their advice might not always align perfectly with your specific situation and needs. If you feel uncomfortable with the advice or believe it is not suitable for your circumstances, it's crucial to communicate this with your therapist. A good therapist should be open to discussing your concerns and finding alternative strategies that make you feel more comfortable.
Ultimately, you have the right to make decisions that prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. If you believe that limiting or cutting off contact with your mom is the best choice for your health and happiness, you should take that into consideration as well. If you have doubts about your therapist's advice, seeking a second opinion from another qualified mental health professional might be beneficial. The most important thing is to find a path that allows you to heal and grow in a way that feels right for you.