I can offer some general insights that may help you understand why you had an emotional reaction when your male therapist gave you a coloring book.
Emotional Triggers: Coloring books may evoke memories or emotions from your past, such as nostalgia or associations with childhood. These emotions can be powerful triggers for some individuals, leading to unexpected emotional responses.
Unconscious Associations: Sometimes, we may have unconscious associations with certain objects or actions that affect our emotional state. The act of receiving a coloring book from your therapist might have triggered something deep-seated that you were not fully aware of at the time.
Vulnerability and Trust: The therapeutic relationship involves trust and vulnerability. The act of receiving a gift from your therapist, especially one that may be associated with relaxation and creativity, can symbolize a gesture of care and support. This may have touched you emotionally, leading to tears.
Emotional Release: Therapy sessions can be emotionally charged, and sometimes, receiving a thoughtful gift can provide a safe space to release pent-up emotions.
Gender-related Issues: If you have experienced difficult or complicated relationships with men in the past, receiving a gift from a male therapist could have stirred up emotions related to those experiences.
Context and Timing: Sometimes, emotions can be triggered by a combination of factors, including your mood that day, the context of the session, and the timing of the gift.
It's important to remember that crying is a natural and healthy emotional response. In therapy, tears can be an opportunity to explore and process deeper emotions and concerns. If you feel comfortable, you can discuss this emotional reaction with your therapist. They can help you explore the reasons behind your response and provide support throughout the process. Therapy is a space for self-discovery and healing, and these emotional moments can be valuable for gaining insight into yourself and your emotions.