Transference is a psychological phenomenon that occurs in therapy and other relationships where a person unconsciously transfers feelings, emotions, and attitudes they had toward significant figures from their past (such as parents, caregivers, or past partners) onto their therapist. This means that the client may start to view the therapist through the lens of these past relationships, attributing feelings and expectations to the therapist that are not based on the therapist's actual qualities or actions.
Transference can be positive or negative. Positive transference involves feelings of admiration, trust, or affection toward the therapist, often seeing them as a protective or nurturing figure. Negative transference involves feelings of anger, fear, or mistrust, seeing the therapist as critical or judgmental.
Experiencing transference is common and can be a natural part of the therapeutic process. It provides valuable insights into unresolved emotions and dynamics from past relationships, which can be explored and addressed in therapy. Here's how one can deal with strong transference towards their psychologist/therapist:
Awareness: Recognize and acknowledge the transference. Becoming aware of the emotions you're experiencing and their connection to past relationships is an essential step in understanding how transference may be influencing your current therapeutic relationship.
Discuss it in therapy: Bring up your feelings and experiences of transference in therapy. Your therapist is trained to handle transference and will work with you to explore its roots and how it may impact your current emotional experiences.
Explore past relationships: Together with your therapist, explore the origins of the transference by examining significant relationships from your past. Understanding these connections can shed light on why certain emotions are being projected onto your therapist.
Differentiate past and present: Work with your therapist to differentiate between the emotions related to past relationships and the reality of the therapeutic relationship. This process can help you gain clarity about your feelings and expectations.
Use transference as a tool: Transference can be an opportunity for growth and healing. By understanding how past experiences impact your present relationships, you can work through unresolved issues and develop healthier coping strategies.
Allow vulnerability: It's okay to feel vulnerable in therapy. Sharing your feelings, even if they are connected to transference, can deepen the therapeutic process and strengthen the therapeutic bond.
Patience and compassion: Be patient with yourself as you navigate through transference. It is a natural and complex process, and healing may take time.
Remember that therapists are trained to handle transference and will not take it personally. They are there to support you and help you work through these feelings constructively. By addressing transference in therapy, you can enhance the therapeutic relationship and make significant progress in your overall emotional well-being.