I can understand why you might feel concerned in this situation. It's important to recognize that therapists have different approaches and styles, and they should generally aim to help you work through your issues rather than solve your problems for you. Therapy is meant to be a collaborative process where you gain insights, coping mechanisms, and skills to address your challenges independently.
The fact that you are coming out of a dependent relationship and now living in your therapist's flat while she's offering you work could potentially raise ethical concerns. Therapists are expected to maintain professional boundaries to ensure the therapeutic relationship remains healthy and focused on your well-being. Mixing personal and professional relationships can make it difficult for you to distinguish between the roles and may hinder your progress.
It's essential to discuss your feelings and concerns openly with your therapist. If you are uncomfortable with the situation or feel like you might be falling into a similar pattern of dependence, it's crucial to address it in your therapy sessions. This way, you and your therapist can explore the dynamics at play and make necessary adjustments to ensure the therapeutic process remains effective and beneficial to you.
As for whether you are being paranoid, it's difficult for me to make that judgment without more information. However, it's always essential to trust your instincts and feelings. If something doesn't feel right or if you're uncertain about the therapist's actions, it's valid to express your concerns and seek clarification.
If you find it challenging to address the issue directly with your therapist, you might consider seeking a second opinion from another mental health professional. This can provide you with an outside perspective on the situation and help you determine the best course of action moving forward.
Remember, therapy is about your growth and well-being. It should be a supportive and empowering process, helping you develop the tools to handle challenges and make positive changes in your life.