It sounds like you may be experiencing a physical and emotional response commonly known as "fight or flight" when faced with conflict or confrontation. This is a natural response that many people experience, but it can become overwhelming and challenging to handle if it affects your ability to express yourself and handle conflicts effectively.
Here are some strategies you can try to help manage your physical and emotional responses during conflict:
Recognize the physical response: The first step is to be aware of how your body reacts during conflict. Understanding that shaking and anxiety are natural responses can help you gain some control over your reaction.
Deep breathing and grounding techniques: Practice deep breathing exercises to help calm your nervous system. Grounding techniques, such as focusing on your senses or repeating a calming mantra, can also be helpful in regaining control.
Preparation and knowledge: Often, fear of conflict can be reduced by feeling more prepared and knowledgeable about the topic at hand. Make sure you have enough information and understanding to feel confident in your position.
Role-playing and practice: Engage in role-playing exercises or practice discussions with a supportive friend or family member. This can help you become more comfortable with expressing your thoughts and feelings during conflicts.
Assertiveness training: Consider seeking professional help or taking assertiveness training courses. Learning how to express yourself assertively can increase your confidence during conflicts.
Manage stress overall: Engage in regular exercise, practice relaxation techniques, and ensure you get enough sleep. Reducing overall stress can help you handle conflicts more effectively.
Challenge negative thoughts: Identify and challenge any negative thoughts or beliefs you may have about conflict. Try to reframe your thinking in a more positive and constructive way.
Seek support: If your fear of conflict is significantly impacting your life, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you explore the root causes of your fear and develop coping strategies.
Set boundaries: It's essential to know your boundaries and be willing to express them. Sometimes, conflicts arise when our boundaries are violated. Learning to set and communicate boundaries can prevent unnecessary confrontations.
Remember that overcoming a fear of conflict takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. By gradually facing and managing conflicts, you can gain confidence in your ability to handle them effectively without overwhelming physical and emotional reactions.