Question

Is it normal to smile at inappropriate times during therapy? I had a slight smirk on my face as my therapist was beginning EMDR, and they called me out on it. Now I’m embarrassed. I know I do it out of nervousness, so why did they do that?

Answer 1

It is not uncommon for people to smile or have other unexpected emotional reactions during therapy, including times when it might seem inappropriate or when discussing sensitive topics. This can happen for a variety of reasons, and it doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with you.

Here are some possible explanations for why you might have smiled during the therapy session:

1. Nervousness: As you mentioned, nervousness or anxiety can manifest in various ways, and some people may smile or smirk as a coping mechanism to deal with uncomfortable feelings.

2. Discomfort: When discussing traumatic or distressing experiences, some individuals may display emotional reactions that might seem incongruent, like smiling or laughing. This reaction can be a way of protecting themselves from feeling overwhelmed or vulnerable.

3. Emotional Complexity: Emotions can be complex and interconnected, and sometimes, a smile might accompany a mix of feelings, including sadness, fear, or anger. It may not solely indicate happiness or joy but could be a way of expressing the complexity of your emotions.

4. Defense Mechanism: Smiling could be a defense mechanism that helps keep difficult emotions at bay or mask deeper feelings.

It's essential to remember that therapists are trained professionals who are skilled at observing and interpreting a client's behavior during sessions. When your therapist called you out on the slight smirk, it was likely to acknowledge what they observed and to create an open and honest space for discussion.

The therapist's goal in pointing it out was likely not to embarrass you but to explore the underlying reasons behind your reaction. By addressing it, they might have hoped to gain insight into your emotional state and the feelings that were present at that moment, which can be valuable for the therapy process.

If you feel embarrassed about the incident, consider talking about your feelings with your therapist. Open communication can foster a better understanding between you and your therapist and create a safer environment for your therapy sessions. Remember that therapy is a collaborative process, and discussing your reactions and emotions is an essential part of the therapeutic journey.