It's important to clarify that using the term "narcs" seems to refer to narcissists. Narcissism is a personality trait that exists on a spectrum, and not everyone who displays some narcissistic traits will have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). NPD is a diagnosable mental health condition that can lead to significant impairment in a person's life and relationships.
Individuals with NPD or significant narcissistic traits may initially present themselves as charming, confident, and seemingly "sane" or "decent" in the early stages of a relationship, including in a married life. This initial phase is often referred to as the "love bombing" phase, where they shower their partner with affection, compliments, and attention, making the other person feel special and loved.
However, over time, as the relationship progresses and becomes more established, the narcissistic traits may become more apparent. Narcissists often have difficulties with empathy, emotional regulation, and forming genuine connections with others. As the relationship deepens and the initial infatuation phase wanes, the partner may start to notice controlling behaviors, a lack of genuine emotional connection, manipulation, and a focus on their own needs and desires above all else.
The exact timeline for how long a narcissist can maintain a facade of normalcy can vary greatly from person to person. Some individuals with narcissistic traits may be skilled at hiding their true nature for extended periods, while others may show their true colors relatively early in the relationship. It's also possible for the behavior of a narcissist to fluctuate over time, making it challenging for their partner to identify and understand the pattern of their behavior.
If you suspect that you are in a relationship with a narcissistic individual and are experiencing emotional or psychological abuse, it's essential to seek support and professional help. Narcissistic relationships can be incredibly damaging to the well-being and self-esteem of the partner involved. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who has experience in dealing with narcissistic abuse to help you navigate the situation and make informed decisions about your future.