Question

Is it wrong of me to get mad that my husband does nothing but work? I work as well and take care of the kids and housework. My husband tends to fall asleep while I’m cooking, cleaning and tending to kids. Only time we spend together is when we shower

Answer 1

Feeling upset or frustrated in this situation is entirely understandable. It seems like you are carrying a significant load with both work and household responsibilities, while your husband's lack of involvement is leaving you feeling neglected and unsupported. It's important to address this issue openly and honestly with your spouse.

Here are some steps you can take to address the situation:

1. Communication: Sit down with your husband in a calm and non-confrontational manner to express your feelings and concerns. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say, "I feel overwhelmed and unsupported when I handle all the household and childcare responsibilities alone."

2. Listen to his perspective: After you've expressed your feelings, allow your husband to share his side of the story. It's possible that he might not be aware of how his actions are affecting you or that he might be facing stress or other issues at work that are impacting his behavior at home.

3. Seek a compromise: Together, try to find a middle ground that works for both of you. Consider ways he can contribute more to household tasks and childcare, and discuss how you both can spend quality time together despite your busy schedules.

4. Establish boundaries: It's crucial to set clear boundaries regarding responsibilities and personal time. Encourage your husband to be more present and engaged when he's home and make sure you get the support you need to manage your workload.

5. Consider professional help: If you find that communication alone isn't resolving the issue, consider seeking the assistance of a marriage counselor or therapist. A neutral third party can help facilitate productive conversations and offer guidance on how to improve your relationship.

6. Take care of yourself: In the midst of all the responsibilities, don't forget to prioritize your well-being. Self-care is essential, so make sure you take time for yourself, even if it's just for a few minutes each day to relax and recharge.

Remember that healthy relationships involve mutual support, communication, and understanding. It's okay to have feelings of frustration, but working together with your husband to find a solution can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.