There could be various reasons why someone might express such feelings after being married for many years. It's important to note that human emotions, relationships, and experiences are complex and unique to each individual, so no answer will perfectly cover every situation. However, here are a few possible reasons:
Denial and Revisionist History: If a man is experiencing difficult feelings in his marriage, he might find it easier to claim he never loved his wife rather than confront the reality that his love has changed or faded. This could be a coping mechanism to make the process of emotional detachment feel less painful.
Unresolved Issues: Sometimes, longstanding unresolved issues can build resentment over time. This might lead a person to reinterpret their past feelings and claim that they never truly loved their spouse.
Midlife Crisis: For some, a midlife crisis can trigger profound questioning of one's life choices, including the choice of a life partner. The man may feel unfulfilled or trapped and might express it as a lack of love that he believes was never there.
New Relationship or Affair: In some cases, a man may claim he never loved his wife as a way to justify a new romantic interest or affair. By asserting that he never had genuine feelings for his wife, he might feel less guilt about pursuing another relationship.
Mental Health Issues: Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can distort a person's perception of their feelings and relationships. A person struggling with mental health issues might say they never loved their spouse, even if this doesn't align with their past behavior or feelings.
Lack of Self-Awareness: Some people may not have a clear understanding of their own emotions, or they may have trouble recognizing or admitting their feelings. They might marry out of a sense of obligation, societal pressure, or other factors, and later realize they never felt romantic love for their partner.
In any case, communication and professional help, like a counselor or a marriage therapist, might be beneficial for both individuals involved to navigate through this complex situation. It's important for the man to understand his feelings and motivations, and equally important for his wife to be able to express her feelings and concerns.