I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging situation. It's important to acknowledge that both physical violence and emotional abuse are not acceptable behaviors in any relationship. It's crucial to address these issues and work towards creating a safe and healthy environment for both you and your husband.
Forgiving someone can be a complex process, and it might take time and effort. However, forgiveness should never be used as an excuse to tolerate abusive behavior or as a way to sweep serious issues under the rug. Here are some steps you can consider taking:
Prioritize your safety: First and foremost, ensure your safety and well-being. If you ever feel threatened or in danger, reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or a domestic violence helpline for support.
Seek professional help: It's essential for both of you to seek individual counseling or therapy to address your personal issues and emotional triggers. A therapist can help you both understand and manage your emotions in healthier ways.
Attend couples therapy: If you and your husband are willing to work on your relationship, couples therapy can be beneficial. A qualified therapist can help you both learn effective communication techniques, conflict resolution, and ways to rebuild trust.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries for acceptable behavior within the relationship. Physical violence or any form of abuse should never be tolerated. Discuss these boundaries with your husband and be prepared to enforce them if necessary.
Communicate openly: Foster open and honest communication with your husband about your feelings, concerns, and expectations for the relationship moving forward. Encourage him to share his feelings as well.
Take responsibility: Each of you should take responsibility for your own actions and choices. Acknowledge any mistakes and commit to making positive changes.
Seek support from others: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups who can provide a listening ear and understanding during this challenging time.
Educate yourself: Learn about healthy relationships, effective communication, and conflict resolution. Education can empower you both to create positive changes in your relationship.
Remember, forgiveness does not mean forgetting or condoning abusive behavior. It's essential to prioritize your safety and well-being and seek professional help to address these issues in a constructive way. If your husband is unwilling to acknowledge and work on his behavior, it may be necessary to consider your own safety and future options.
If you are in immediate danger, please don't hesitate to reach out to local law enforcement or a domestic violence hotline in your country for assistance.