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Dealing with an ex who contacts you to blame you for everything can be emotionally challenging. Here are some steps you can consider taking to handle this situation in a healthy and constructive way:

  1. Stay Calm and Composed: It's natural to feel upset or defensive when faced with accusations, but try to remain calm and composed during your interactions. Reacting emotionally may escalate the situation further.

  2. Set Boundaries: Make it clear what kind of communication is acceptable to you. If the blame and negativity continue, let your ex know that you won't engage in conversations that involve blaming or hurtful language.

  3. Listen with Empathy: If you choose to engage in a conversation, try to listen to their perspective with empathy, even if you don't agree with everything they're saying. Acknowledge their feelings without accepting unwarranted blame.

  4. Avoid Escalation: Refrain from getting into arguments or heated debates. If the conversation becomes too tense or unproductive, it's okay to disengage and revisit the discussion later when emotions have cooled down.

  5. Take Responsibility (if appropriate): If there are aspects of the relationship that you recognize were problematic, take responsibility for your part in it. However, avoid accepting blame for things that were not within your control or that are unfairly assigned to you.

  6. Focus on Moving Forward: If the relationship has ended, it's essential to focus on your well-being and moving forward. If talking to your ex about past issues is not helping either of you, it may be best to limit or stop communication altogether.

  7. Consider Therapy or Mediation: If communication becomes too difficult, consider seeking the help of a therapist or mediator who can facilitate constructive conversations and help both of you express your feelings in a healthier manner.

  8. Surround Yourself with Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a support group to share your feelings and gain perspective. Having a strong support system can be immensely helpful during challenging times.

  9. Practice Self-Care: Take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Engage in activities that bring you joy and focus on personal growth and healing.

  10. Block or Limit Contact: If the situation becomes toxic or too distressing, you may need to block your ex's contact or limit communication to ensure your well-being.

Remember that you have the right to prioritize your emotional well-being and set boundaries with someone who is being disrespectful or blaming you unfairly. It's okay to step away from such interactions if they are not helping you heal or move forward.

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