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Dealing with thoughts of an ex-partner can be challenging, especially after a significant relationship that lasted for several years. It's normal to have lingering thoughts and emotions even after the breakup. Here are some strategies to help you cope with and eventually move on from these thoughts:

  1. Allow yourself to grieve: Give yourself permission to feel and process the emotions that come with the end of a meaningful relationship. It's okay to be sad, angry, or confused. Acknowledging and accepting these feelings can be an essential step toward healing.

  2. Limit contact and reminders: Try to limit contact with your ex, at least in the initial stages of the breakup. This includes social media stalking or checking their updates. Remove or store away items that remind you of the relationship to help reduce triggers.

  3. Talk it out: Share your feelings with friends, family, or a therapist. Talking about your emotions can be cathartic and can offer you new perspectives on the situation.

  4. Focus on self-improvement: You mentioned that you've been working on yourself, which is excellent. Continue to invest time and energy in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Pursue hobbies, engage in new experiences, and set personal goals.

  5. Practice mindfulness and meditation: Mindfulness techniques can help you stay in the present moment and reduce rumination about the past. Meditation and deep breathing exercises can also be beneficial in calming your mind.

  6. Challenge negative thoughts: When thoughts about your ex arise, challenge them. Ask yourself if these thoughts are helpful or if they are keeping you stuck in the past. Redirect your focus to positive aspects of your life and the future.

  7. Create a support system: Surround yourself with supportive and caring people. Having a strong support system can provide comfort and encouragement as you navigate through this challenging time.

  8. Set new goals and plans: Look ahead and make plans for your future. Setting new goals can give you a sense of purpose and direction.

  9. Be patient with yourself: Healing takes time, and it's okay to have ups and downs. Be patient and compassionate with yourself during this process.

  10. Consider professional help: If you find it challenging to cope with your emotions or if the thoughts about your ex are interfering with your daily life, seeking support from a therapist or counselor can be highly beneficial.

Remember, moving on from a long-term relationship is a gradual process, and it's okay to take the time you need to heal. Eventually, with patience and self-care, you'll find yourself thinking about your ex less and focusing more on building a fulfilling life for yourself.

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