It's completely normal to feel conflicted when getting over someone you love deeply. Love can be a powerful and complex emotion, and letting go of someone you have strong feelings for is never easy. There could be several reasons why you may not want to get over her:
Emotional attachment: Over time, you've developed a strong emotional bond with this person, and it's difficult to detach yourself from those feelings.
Fear of loneliness: The idea of moving on might be scary because you fear being alone or not finding someone else who can replace the emotional connection you had with her.
Hope for reconciliation: You may be holding onto the hope that things will work out between you two, leading you to resist the process of moving on.
Idealizing the relationship: Sometimes, we tend to idealize past relationships, focusing only on the positive aspects and ignoring the reasons why it ended or why it may not have been right for us.
Comfort in familiarity: Being with someone familiar and knowing them well provides a sense of comfort and security, even if the relationship wasn't entirely healthy.
Loss of identity: Letting go of a significant relationship can sometimes feel like losing a part of yourself, especially if your identity was closely tied to being with that person.
Unfinished business: You might feel like there are unresolved issues or unfinished emotions that make it difficult to move forward.
It's essential to give yourself time and space to process these feelings. Remember that healing and moving on from a deep love take time and patience. Here are some steps that might help you through this process:
Accept your feelings: It's okay to feel sad, confused, or even conflicted. Acknowledge your emotions and give yourself permission to experience them.
Surround yourself with support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about what you're going through. Having a support system can make a significant difference during this time.
Focus on personal growth: Use this period of healing to invest in yourself, explore your interests, and work on personal development.
Set boundaries: If maintaining contact with her prolongs your healing process, consider setting boundaries or taking some space to gain clarity and perspective.
Challenge idealization: Try to see the relationship from a more balanced perspective, acknowledging both the good and not-so-good aspects.
Let yourself grieve: Allow yourself to mourn the loss of the relationship and the dreams you had together.
Be patient: Healing takes time, so be patient with yourself and trust that with time and effort, you will start to feel better.
Remember that healing is a journey, and it's okay to take small steps forward. Be kind to yourself and know that, with time, you will find the strength to move on while cherishing the lessons and memories from this experience.