Yes, it is possible for INFJs (or any personality type) to become mean or display negative behavior after experiencing a lot of pain in their lives. INFJs are known for their empathy, compassion, and sensitivity to the emotions of others, but they are not immune to the effects of difficult life experiences.
When INFJs go through significant pain or trauma, several factors can contribute to changes in their behavior:
Protective Mechanism: Experiencing a lot of pain can lead to emotional distress and vulnerability. In an attempt to protect themselves from further harm, INFJs may build emotional walls or put up defenses, which could make them appear distant or even mean.
Overwhelmed Emotions: INFJs are highly attuned to their emotions and can become overwhelmed by intense feelings. This emotional overload might lead to outbursts or lashing out, which is uncharacteristic of their usual composed demeanor.
Feelings of Betrayal: If INFJs have experienced betrayal or have been hurt by someone they deeply cared about, it could result in feelings of anger, resentment, and a loss of trust. This can lead to them acting out or being mean as a way to protect themselves from future pain.
Coping Mechanisms: In response to pain, INFJs may adopt coping mechanisms that aren't in line with their typical behavior. This could include withdrawing from social interactions, being dismissive, or responding harshly to others.
Feeling Misunderstood: If INFJs feel that others don't understand their pain or struggles, they may withdraw and become more guarded. This withdrawal can sometimes be perceived as being mean or distant.
Internal Turmoil: INFJs may experience internal conflicts and struggle to process their emotions and pain effectively. This inner turmoil can manifest in their interactions with others, causing them to behave in ways that seem out of character.
It's important to recognize that becoming "mean" might not be a permanent change for INFJs. It can be a response to specific circumstances, and with time, healing, and support, they may return to their more characteristic empathetic and compassionate nature.
If an INFJ you know is going through a difficult time and displaying mean behavior, approaching them with understanding and support can be beneficial. Encouraging them to talk about their feelings or seek professional help if needed can aid in their healing process and facilitate a return to their usual positive traits.