Finding something positive in your experience is definitely possible, and it's important to remember that each individual is unique and may have their own specific reactions to certain things, including gemstones like rudrakshas.
Self-awareness: The fact that you have noticed a correlation between the rotation of your rudraksha and your OCD thoughts shows that you are self-aware and in tune with your emotions and reactions. This self-awareness can be a valuable tool in understanding yourself better and finding ways to cope with anxiety and OCD.
Mindfulness: The rotation of the rudraksha could serve as a mindfulness trigger for you. When you notice the rotation, it can remind you to be present in the moment, acknowledge your thoughts and emotions, and practice grounding techniques to manage anxiety or intrusive thoughts.
Symbolic significance: The significance of the rudraksha in your life, even if it triggers anxiety at times, could represent an opportunity for growth and understanding. It may prompt you to explore the deeper spiritual or cultural meaning behind the rudraksha and its connection to your life.
Adaptation and learning: Your experience with different types of rudrakshas teaches you that not everything works the same way for everyone. It highlights the importance of individual differences and that what works for one person may not work for another. This can be applied to various aspects of life, encouraging you to explore and find what suits you best.
Acceptance of differences: It reinforces the idea that people have different sensitivities, and that's perfectly okay. Embracing your uniqueness can lead to greater self-acceptance and appreciation for the diversity of human experiences.
Exploration of alternatives: Your experience with the rudraksha that triggered severe anxiety could open the door to trying different healing or grounding practices that align better with your needs and well-being. This could lead you to discover other methods that resonate positively with you.
Finding balance: While some aspects of your experience might cause discomfort, it also demonstrates the importance of finding balance and recognizing that certain practices or beliefs can be beneficial in moderation.
In conclusion, you are not "different" in a negative sense, but rather you are an individual with your unique set of experiences and sensitivities. Embrace your uniqueness and use it as an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and finding what brings you peace and positivity. If you find that anxiety or OCD thoughts are significantly impacting your daily life, seeking guidance from a mental health professional can be beneficial in finding coping strategies that work best for you.