The perception that friends only call when they need something might be a common sentiment, but it's not necessarily true for all friendships. However, there are a few reasons why some people may feel this way:
Confirmation bias: It's human nature to remember negative experiences more vividly than positive ones. If a friend calls only when they need something, those instances might stand out more in the person's memory, leading them to believe it happens all the time.
Selective memory: Sometimes, people overlook instances when friends call just to chat, catch up, or offer support, focusing only on the times when help or assistance was requested.
Unequal give and take: In some friendships, there might be an imbalance in the give-and-take dynamic. If one friend consistently supports the other without receiving the same level of support in return, they may feel used or taken advantage of.
Perceived lack of interest: If a friend is generally distant or doesn't initiate communication often, the times they do reach out for help might be more noticeable, creating the impression that they only call when they need something.
Limited communication: Sometimes, friends might not talk regularly, so when they do reach out, it stands out more, even if the intention is not to ask for something.
If you want to change this perception and strengthen your friendships, consider the following:
Regularly check in with your friends: Reach out to them just to chat or see how they're doing, without any specific requests. Show interest in their lives and well-being.
Offer support and help proactively: Be attentive to your friends' needs and be willing to help or support them when they require it, without them having to ask explicitly.
Balance the give and take: Make sure you contribute positively to the friendship and be there for your friends when they need you.
Communicate openly: If you feel there is a misunderstanding or miscommunication, talk to your friends about it. Address their concerns and clarify your intentions.
Remember, every friendship is unique, and maintaining healthy connections requires effort, understanding, and open communication from both sides.