When someone asks if they can bring something to your party or event, and they haven't been invited, it can be a delicate situation. Here are some steps you can take to respond graciously:
Be polite: Start by expressing appreciation for their offer to contribute to the event. Thank them for their thoughtfulness.
Clarify the invitation status: Politely let them know that the event is a private gathering, and you had already sent out invitations to a specific group of people.
Explain the situation: If appropriate, explain the reason behind the limited guest list. It could be due to space constraints, a particular theme, or other factors.
Offer an alternative: If you feel comfortable doing so, you can suggest an alternative way for them to get involved or show their support, even if they can't attend the event. For example, you could mention that you're planning another gathering in the future or suggest meeting up for coffee or a meal to catch up.
Be understanding: Try to put yourself in their shoes and understand that they might be genuinely interested in participating or might not have realized the event's private nature. Avoid being dismissive or confrontational.
Example response: "Thank you so much for offering to bring something to the party! I really appreciate your thoughtfulness. However, this event is a private gathering, and we've already sent out invitations to a specific group of friends and family. I hope you understand the situation. But I'd love to catch up with you soon, maybe we could plan to meet for coffee or lunch sometime next week?"
Remember that setting boundaries and being respectful of your event's nature is essential, but doing so with kindness and understanding will help maintain a positive relationship with the person asking.