Being involved with someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) can be challenging and emotionally draining. Understanding whether you are considered the main supply or a side supply can be crucial in deciding how to proceed in such a relationship. Here are some indicators to help you identify your position:
- Main Supply: The main supply, also known as the primary source, is the person who holds the primary position in the narcissist's life. They are typically the one the narcissist is most focused on, emotionally invested in, and dependent upon for narcissistic supply, which is the attention, admiration, and validation they crave.
Indications that you might be the main supply include:
- You receive significant attention and affection from the individual.
- The narcissist seems deeply invested in the relationship with you, at least for periods of time.
- They prioritize spending time with you over others.
- The narcissist may idealize you during the love-bombing phase, showering you with excessive compliments, gifts, and attention.
- Side Supply: The side supply, also known as secondary supply, is someone the narcissist keeps in reserve to provide additional validation and attention when the main supply is unavailable, or to fill emotional gaps the main supply cannot fulfill. Side supplies are not given the same level of priority or attention as the main supply.
Signs that you might be a side supply include:
- The individual often cancels plans with you or makes excuses for not spending quality time together.
- They may seem distant or emotionally unavailable, except when seeking attention or validation.
- You notice inconsistencies in their behavior and how they treat you.
- The narcissist may be involved with multiple people simultaneously, juggling different relationships.
It's essential to recognize that narcissists often manipulate and exploit their partners, whether they are the main supply or a side supply. They can shift between idealization and devaluation, leaving their partners feeling confused and emotionally vulnerable.
If you suspect you are involved with someone who has NPD or ASPD and find yourself in a complex web of relationships, consider the following steps:
Educate Yourself: Learn more about NPD, ASPD, and manipulative behaviors to gain a better understanding of what you're dealing with.
Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist about your situation to gain perspective and emotional support.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect yourself from manipulation and emotional abuse.
Consider Ending the Relationship: If the relationship is causing significant distress and harm, consider ending it for your well-being.
Get Professional Help: If you're finding it challenging to navigate the relationship and its effects on your mental health, consider seeking guidance from a therapist experienced in dealing with personality disorders and toxic relationships.
Remember, relationships with individuals with NPD or ASPD can be emotionally draining and challenging to navigate. Prioritizing your own well-being and seeking support are essential steps in moving forward.