Distinguishing between helping and enabling can be challenging, especially when dealing with a severely depressed individual. Both actions come from a place of care and concern, but their outcomes and impacts on the person experiencing depression can be significantly different.
Helping: Helping someone who is severely depressed involves providing support, encouragement, and assistance that empowers them to cope with their challenges and work towards recovery. It aims to foster independence, personal growth, and resilience. Some examples of helpful actions include:
Encouraging professional help: Encourage the individual to seek help from mental health professionals, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, to receive appropriate treatment.
Being a good listener: Offer a non-judgmental and empathetic ear to listen to their feelings and thoughts without trying to fix everything.
Providing resources: Help them find information about depression, support groups, or therapeutic techniques that may be beneficial.
Assisting with daily tasks: Offer practical support, such as helping with household chores or daily responsibilities if they are unable to manage them at the moment.
Engaging in positive activities together: Encourage participation in activities that promote well-being, such as going for a walk, engaging in a hobby, or practicing relaxation exercises together.
Enabling: Enabling, on the other hand, involves unintentionally supporting behaviors that perpetuate or worsen the person's depression. Enabling can inadvertently discourage them from seeking help or taking responsibility for their well-being. Some examples of enabling behaviors include:
Taking over all responsibilities: Assuming all tasks and responsibilities on behalf of the depressed individual, which can hinder their ability to develop coping skills and self-reliance.
Avoiding discussions about depression: Tip-toeing around the issue or avoiding discussions about their feelings can hinder open communication and the possibility of seeking professional help.
Supporting harmful coping mechanisms: Enabling destructive behaviors, such as substance abuse, self-harm, or unhealthy avoidance strategies, can prolong the depression.
Ignoring boundaries: Overstepping personal boundaries or disregarding their autonomy can make them feel disempowered and less likely to take charge of their recovery.
To know the difference between helping and enabling, consider the impact of your actions on the individual's long-term well-being and recovery. Ask yourself if your actions are promoting self-reliance and progress or inadvertently supporting harmful patterns.
If you're unsure about the best approach, consider consulting a mental health professional or seeking guidance from support groups or resources for friends and family of individuals dealing with depression. Remember that navigating someone's severe depression can be emotionally challenging, so don't hesitate to seek support for yourself as well.