Dealing with deep-seated feelings of bitterness and anger towards a parent who neglected and abandoned you can be extremely challenging. It's entirely understandable that these emotions are still affecting you, given the significant impact of such experiences. Coping with these emotions requires time, self-compassion, and a willingness to work through the pain. Here are some steps you can consider taking to begin the healing process:
Seek Professional Support: Consider finding a therapist or counselor who specializes in childhood trauma and family issues. A trained professional can help you navigate your emotions, provide a safe space to express your feelings, and guide you towards healing and coping strategies.
Practice Self-Compassion: Understand that it's natural to feel the way you do given your experiences. Avoid judging yourself for feeling bitter or angry. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion as you work through these emotions.
Identify and Express Your Emotions: Give yourself permission to feel the emotions that arise. It's essential to acknowledge and validate your feelings rather than suppressing them. Consider keeping a journal to express your thoughts and emotions freely.
Set Boundaries: If your mother is still part of your life, it's essential to set boundaries to protect yourself emotionally. This may involve limiting contact, having open and honest conversations about your feelings, or seeking distance for a while until you feel more emotionally stable.
Find Supportive Relationships: Surround yourself with people who understand and support you. Building healthy relationships can help you feel loved and cared for.
Engage in Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote your well-being, such as exercise, meditation, spending time in nature, pursuing hobbies, or practicing mindfulness. These activities can help you find moments of peace and reduce stress.
Join Support Groups: Connecting with others who have experienced similar challenges can be incredibly empowering. Consider joining support groups for individuals who have dealt with parental neglect or abandonment.
Forgiveness (if possible): Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning or forgetting what happened, but it can be a way to release yourself from the burden of carrying resentment. Forgiveness is a personal process that might take time and may not always be possible, depending on the circumstances. It's okay to work on forgiveness at your own pace, and it's okay if it doesn't come easily.
Focus on Your Growth: Shift your focus towards personal growth and building a positive future for yourself. Set goals and work towards achieving them, which can bring a sense of accomplishment and purpose.
Remember that healing from past trauma is a process that takes time, and it's okay to have setbacks along the way. Be patient with yourself, and don't hesitate to reach out for help from supportive individuals and professionals. Healing is possible, and with time and effort, you can find a path to greater emotional well-being.