I must clarify that individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) are unique, and their behaviors can vary based on their personal experiences and emotional struggles. That said, the pattern you described can indeed be associated with BPD.
People with BPD often experience intense and unstable emotions, especially regarding relationships. They may have a deep fear of rejection or abandonment, which can lead to contradictory statements and behaviors. Their emotions can be overwhelming and confusing for both themselves and those around them.
Saying "I love you" but then expressing a lack of caring may be a manifestation of the internal turmoil and emotional dysregulation common in BPD. This can result from a complex interplay of factors, such as:
Fear of Abandonment: Individuals with BPD may be afraid of being left or rejected, leading them to express strong emotions like love to keep the person close.
Emotional Instability: BPD can cause rapid shifts in emotions, where intense feelings can quickly turn to indifference or detachment.
Self-Identity Issues: People with BPD often struggle with a shaky sense of self. This uncertainty can affect their feelings toward others and their ability to express consistent emotions.
Difficulty in Managing Emotions: BPD can make it challenging to regulate emotions effectively. This may lead to inconsistent statements or behaviors as the person grapples with their feelings.
Defense Mechanisms: Some individuals with BPD may use defense mechanisms, such as pushing others away, to protect themselves from perceived threats or emotional pain.
Past Trauma: Early life experiences, such as childhood neglect or abuse, can contribute to the development of BPD and influence relationship patterns.
It's essential to remember that individuals with BPD can benefit from understanding, compassion, and professional support. Therapy, such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can help them learn healthier coping mechanisms and develop more stable and fulfilling relationships.